20 February 2012

#110: Drunk Transcription

I don't even remember how I feel about this / This isn't rejection though (affirmation) / / I don't even remember how I felt about it - I don't think I said pathetic (I said pathetic just now) / the worst thing is / or did I say it was scary? You said frightening? / But it came from (Kurt Vile - "Runner Ups") / Did I tell you I found one of my bosses on OKCupid? & he's not out at work, it's so weird and sad - / maybe that one guy did kill himself recently cause of his roommate /
You're writing a lot more than what we said. I couldn't help noticing. / An egglet. Aglet. / Why did it just get so funny /
"Babe I'm Gonna Leave You" - Led Zep /
Why do these institutions bring us together & then tear us apart / Did it start with what we were just saying? It's not fair I had a hand in this somehow I was in your presence while you were writing it ^ & then I said something like "be clear." Like, what did I just say? / (pause to smoke.) (sip of beer.) (light candle.) Careful. Is this what you just wrote down now? / Can't read at (/it) all. That's a misquote - I'm kidding.
Scratches continuation of wrist/thumb. You told me abt. GREAT GIG IN THE SKY and I forgot to write it down - Flaming Lips the same day "Soft Bulletin" / Light it again! What are you writing? Read some of it to me. (I read.)
I like to think of it as a sign of my excellent digestive abilities. / Yeah, I thought that yesterday I wanted to share it with somebody. This is a good song, but I like "La La Love You" more. Don't write this down it's not worthy / swore myself off of saying "bless you" in middle school / But I'd rather not for whatever reason
Do you Deerhoof? ("Cast Off Crown") / Smells like Christmas, right? / That's what he said. No, it's not like that - I like it. It's like everything I say has been given - LIKE - a greater importance. (Guitar riff.) (screeching) (What was the bird that Ryan used?)
I'm all for the "gray" with an A. Are you out for all counts now? On all accounts. / What does this say here? / My house. Keep writing. (laughs) (My Bloody Valentine - "Sometimes") / I wasn't paying attention so I need to see it ("Lost in Translation") again. It's one of the few movies -
What do I do as an "ich"? Transcribe?
Make sure to get them in there.
Bedbound. At least 4 days. I'm glad we don't have periods and that guys don't bleed out of our dicks every month. It was really a good joke when he told it / You are your own lunar calendars and guys are excluded from that naturality.
My Bloody Valentine - "Blown A Wish"

16 February 2012

#109: Cassandra

There was a lot to say about it, but
we switched roles. He spoke freely to my body
while it kept to itself. It pretended
still to be clothed. Swells rose to two, three feet.

Spoke abstractly and discouraged questions
Hamlet reduced to interrogatives.
An old mug with a blend of two herbals
Artemis sickens at the eagle feasting.

We wore our hats to go home in and stopped
traffic. The curtain of the body bloomed.

14 February 2012

#108: Black Lagoon

Back to coffee and falling
asleep with the light in the den on
Parcas volvere sic - the ego without questions,

only doubts and purging hatreds
it walked freely in the rooms of its house.
Toads at the mouth of the forest swamp

where my mother saw 1960s monsters
low, snarl, suck. The ego sees it since
my mother took it to visit Pennsylvania,

showed it the first place of its fear.
Until that point it was only startled.
Blackberries braided the entrance to the muck.

09 February 2012

#107: City Lights

Why is it I can't wear
necklaces without thinking
to choke?

I guess there was an excess
of Orbison my parents played.

08 February 2012

#106: Ego Boundaries

for Anne Sexton

What's more exciting than "my father is a jew"
or "I will not kill myself"?
Camp or kitsch, I hate it, but not him.

I could not be less that person now
salting half my plates,
watching the striped girl slurp

and read her book. For $4.50
I bought something used,
called my mother to be crude
about men again. Told her I hadn't

let him anywhere, which was true,
which I also hated. Quashed that.

#105: Rapunzel

Separately from this is how best to move
Among my chambers amidst dull hills of hair
And no room for a companion -

The labor of hefting it intangible
Even at the thought of princes underfoot
As many hundreds of pounds it must weigh

How unlikely a man with a grip as to scale it
The other kingdom's tower strips
Of its flags after sundown so we go

Halves on everything

07 February 2012

#104: Anodyne

Eating lotus and raspberry Godiva with me,

Maddi at midnight in the Leucadia

Barnes & Noble parking lot drunk on Chablis.

Chomping to take back New Zealand, her new boy.

But there is no free and she is drunk and

A cop almost sees us. Fog crowding

Planted birches in gray seats. Some people

Are unhappy here because it’s not where

They’re from, but that’s not you. Your roots

Will save you from that. But it’s an unreliable

Voice she gets when she gets like this

Shelling her eyes out on a black beach.

I use her in a sentence, image pictures

To drill my brain with it. An easy dieresis

Of a queen in denial and the homeland

She gator-tackles. Perfect is easy.

#103: Night Rains

You said I saw

It felt good not how you thought

If you have art after you are inspired

By somebody who comes from outside

What does it mean to forget

You were born from woman?

It rains outside. Inside you’re asleep.

You have so many things

Awoken by a car in the drive

You were excited until you saw it

Was not lightning but you were


Are not an actor

Wore a charm into a test and did

No good

And we can disagree

Maybe if we’ve lived well

03 February 2012

I hate the idea of not looking like you

01 February 2012

#102: More Vergil

I ran to your house cold and curdled
with hurtful happiness and ice lungs
haling. No hunger after a long being hungry

and glad to see you. Intestines worms. And your new mouth.
And I taught parts of speech to teenagers
for money, practice, rights to gloat

my command of dialogue. In that, spoken grace.
In that memorizing long draughts
to fit in later and to see who caught them.

Self-referentiality metuens*, pietas* aside,
I cite my sources. Wait for you to speak.

*Lt. "fearing;" *Lt. "fidelity"