27 December 2014

BA detail

Tio Mario to the footballers on TV: Vamos, querido.
You translating into my ear: Go, darling.

#53: Await

Notice what's innocent: capacity for surprise.

Love came for ferdinand, unknowingly viewing miranda.

Honey shards, whittled by some sea, came for annabel lee.

Lyn: "as for we who love to be astonished"

delight abounds. either we gather its surround

or it lifts off, self-distributes silently.

"Are you sleeping?"cue 'choice Heart of Hearts,'

a strawberry's voltage, simmering on through.

You could say to me I have been waiting for this day

through all sunlight's previous days

and have me believe—without turning away—

that lovely I am your person. Though surely not.

21 December 2014

#52: night tillage

Mark how
at this stage of bad behavior
there's an accidental lightness

that stretches
its paws before guilt or vandal
shrugging coyly

a happy actor of known roles
on vague bright stages
bound by, sworn to no

in its dragon forms
mark how day yields
laying wide open

a mouth or road
a tipped vase or field
edged with wildflowers

—sweet and minor
and giving nothing away
calling to bees

14 December 2014

Sometimes a person doesn’t want to seek the dignity of an always already violated body and wants to cast hers off, either for nothingness, or in trade for some other, better model.

-Lauren Berlant in The Female Complaint

I am not interested in narrative, or truth, or truth to power, on a certain level; I am fascinated by affect, by positioning, and by intimacy, as I know you are. What happens when I stand close to you? What’s your body going to do? What’s my body going to do? On myriad levels, we are both going to fail, fail, fail each other and ourselves. The simplicity of the language is never to suggest truth, but to make transparent the failure. The linguistic failures are dis- appointing and excoriating, as you say, and the images don’t exactly recoup or repair—they are a form of recess, which is its own kind of movement, including both the break from and passage back to the unbearable.

-Claudia Rankine

cf. http://bombmagazine.org/article/10096/claudia-rankine

psa reminder if niedecker can write small poems i can learn to

08 December 2014

#51: sustenance ii.

how long can you sustain a panic?—
a really high-riding panic?——
how long have you in the past? or:
has it ever been "this bad"?

this time it's a livestream
police line ahead at 6th, blocking freeway
chopper feed shows hella cops at exit as at least 1k pol move in the streets

and my love contacts me
text: they shut down downtown berkeley BART because of the protests so im walking to the north berkeley station

i feel like i did yesterday and all last week

5 more cop cars headed for university exit of 880

a hummed split nerve

stream passing university southbound on MLK

or spilt vein (spilt blood briefly creamed)

text: there are helicopters and a plane

police: stay back from barricade
protestors: i cant breathe

text: i should be fine / im at the station
text: the train comes in eight minutes

o sustain me
bringing milk
the photos of teargassed faces dripping milk verge on obscene
or are they obscene?
their context is repulsive
that whole slab of 580 is

text: im in san francisco

#50: sustenance [EXPAND]

'it is time for you to shed a fear'

does this sustain you, does this sustain me, do you sustain me, do i sustain you, do you sustain this, do i sustain this?

(what is this what are you what am i? obviously)

07 December 2014

Berkeley is getting fucked right now

stop crying

so would you rather I stop looking

Matisse, the Open Window, 1918

those instances where you look at a painting and can hear it?

#49: my hotel room in paris

augusto giacometti
is the king of mysterious
less valid perhaps
than a blood queen
from a neighboring
come to let

parts changing colors
a drafty room in orange

you're not home:
berkeley and oakland
get ugly on camera
and loud
cop has tear gas student
has sandbag      you don't
'have what it
to process so
back to work
puzzle over what's
violet on your
thigh       wonder how
it got there

05 December 2014

#48: postscript

i guess so
at no point
did i think
we weren't already
at some summa

i was not
happy   i was
excited          a latecomer
to girlhood    twirl

"the unicorn is
in captivity and
no longer dead"

#47: recuperative

if you could be specific
in your support
that would be great

sometimes i hit a stride
& fully bodied
it's too much—too good

i might reach out in such an instance,
weirdly high
typically cocky

i thought i was helping
but you recoil
so i fuck off

i'm always cold
especially in the mornings
you tease this quirk

with a loving what's your problem
hate me                    don't you

bare trees show
nests but no birds

humans have            the other problem

#46: vision

breath dictates / shape does

it looks like people around here learn to smoke without using their hands
the harming cold / clench pull in grit push out

i have you at my feet

you are comfortable here

tongue all tip